One of those things I guess. The moment you catch yourself
Starring at and old photo. Perhaps it is even on display
Somewhere in your home. You know it’s there, but you pass it
every day, busy with other things in life.
And then one day something stops you. A moment when you
pause and connect with the photo (or picture/ art). The moment
when it escapes the subconscious and brings you back to that moment.
Whatever your emotions are. Maybe happy or sad, anger and calm, etc.
Tonight I found myself staring at and connecting with an old photo of one of my cats. He passed away about 5 years ago. I feel sad though. When we moved to another military base I had to leave two of my cats and my dog behind. A close friend was fostering them until we could get back to get them. My cat, Henry Albert, passed away in his sleep. He was only 10 years old. It was sad enough that he passed, but that I hadn’t seen him in several months. I wasn’t there to care for him. I hadn’t held him for a while. I just wasn’t there.
Maybe he thought I had purposely abandoned him. Of course he was with people he knew and had plenty of other cats to mingle with (my other cat, Taja Arika). But he wasn’t with me. I should have been there or at least able to bring him to our new home.
The photos can be of anyone, even simply a photo of a special moment.
There are other people and animals I had lost. Tonight it just
happened to be Henry. I miss him always. Tonight my eyes welled up with thoughts my special boy.
I dread the day when my other pets pass. It is inevitable of course and always very hard on me. My pets are like
children to me. My love for animals and compassion for them may seem crazy to some. But it’s a quality of mine. Part of makes me who I am.
And it will never go away.
Ugh it is so late, but I just had to put my feelings out there.